Thursday, April 12, 2012

What is love? It's grosser than you think.

Last week, Harrison was complaining a little about his roommate...another young man just starting out in the world.  This roommate is very nice, but not very interested in cleaning.  Their apartment isn't nasy/dirty, but things like the bathroom, the vacuuming and the kitchen dishes either get done by Harrison, or not at all.

I told Harrison that it would make me happy to come help him clean.  He accepted.

He took the bulk of the apartment -- picked up trash, vacuumed, did the bathroom (thank goodness).  I took the kitchen.  And while I was washing dishes in the sink, Harrison asked: Did you put the stopper in the sink?

Yes, I said.  Why?

Oh, he said.  You didn't need to.  The sink won't drain.  We should probably call maintenance.

Well, I finished the dishes, pulled the plug, and of course the water went ... nowhere.  I tried the disposal. Nothing.  So, I s-l-o-w-l-y reached my hand down the drain and felt something terrible down there.  As I was pulling it out, I said to Harrison (who was standing right behind me): Do you know what love is?

I'm watching it right now, he said.

I had yanked out a Brillo scrub pad completely encrusted with food barnacles.  It smelled terrible.  Harrison fetched the garbage, and I threw the dripping mess away.

I put my hand back into the drain ... slowly.

Oh, Harrison said.  Be careful.  There's broken glass in there!

Did you break a glass in the sink? I asked.

Well, I dropped a small glass, and it went down into the drain, but I couldn't see it.  So I turned the disposal on.  (This would explain why the disposal no longer works.)

I pulled out about half a dozen chunks of jagged glass, then smaller pieces.  Then small handfuls of what can only be described as sink poop.  It stank like poop.  It was mucky and yucky and smelly and there were only very small bits of it I could identify (like the tops of carrots.  Thank goodness he's eating all right, I guess.)

Then I washed my hands several times and said I was going to the store for Liquid Draino.  And I came back, and poured the Draino down the sink (making sure to read the directions NOT to drink it.  Good lord.)  And the sink started to drain by later that evening.  Harrison said it's working better, but it might need another go-round with drain cleaner.

And just like I had to tell Graham NOT to pull on fire alarms (after forgetting to tell little Harrison...with horrendous, building-clearing results), I had to tell Graham this week NOT to try to run a glass through the garbage disposal.  Common sense?  Apparently not.


  1. You are the best story teller! Isn't it amazing when our young ones leave the nest and the things they get themselves into! My husband was the one rescuing our daughter when she first moved out into the wonderful world with her "very best friend" who turned out to be an interesting room mate. They are now 30 years old, both married and the roommate has kids - oh how they totally "get it" now and we laugh all the time about these funny escapades. What a sweet sweet thing he said about seeing love in action! Thanks for sharing such a great story.

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